Finding Him
by Merton Lynn
Summary: I don't know how to summerize this without giving anything away. It has to do with Doyle's sister going to LA to find out he's been dead for 2 years. Please read and review
1. One

"Do you have to go?" eleven-year-old Ashling asked her seventeen-year-old brother Allen. 

"I gotta Ash," he said. The sound of his voice, even though the Irish accent matched hers, made her feel a little better. "I'm going to college. And I'll meet a woman who I'll marry and have kids with and-"

"I'll be Cool Auntie Ashling. I know I've heard it a million times. Ever since you got accepted. I get it," 

"That's my girl," he kissed her forehead. "I gotta go now. I promise I'll write once a week and call."

"Allen," his mother Angela said. "Don't spend all of you money…and be careful…Los Angeles is a big city and people like to take advantage of young children from different countries…" she was about to cry. 

Allen smiled. "Ma…I'll be fine." He hugged her. 

"Be careful Allen…call us when you get there,"

"I will," Allen pulled away. "I love you Ma. You too Ash." He picked up his bags and headed for the gate.

"Come on Ashling…lets head home," both turned away as Allen boarded the plane.

_NINE YEARS LATER_

_ _

__Ashling, now twenty, walked the streets of her hometown alone. She looked up at the stars and felt tears sting her eyes. Nights like these got her thinking of her brother Allen. It had been a year and half at least since she'd last heard from him. He hadn't been home since the day he left. 

"Hey, hey," Ashling turned to the sound of the voice. 

"Hello?" no answer. She kept walking. She heard footsteps behind her. "Frank is that you?" she sighed. "I though I told you to…" a growl came from the person. 

"You're going to die tonight," Ashling's blue eyes grew wide. She started run and was followed. The chaser chased her into the open field.

"Help me!" Ashling yelled into the dark. Of course there was no one in this part. "Someone!" she reached a well. She looked down it. Too far and no water. "Shit." The intruder came to her and looked her in the eye. With out a second thought he lunged at her. She turned to jump over the well but he pulled her leg down. "Let me go!"She kicked.

"I don't think so," he grabbed her arm and got ready to bite down on her neck. She felt the breath on her neck. She turned as her back was against the stone side of the well. She positioned to kick but the wall fell under back. "There goes dinner." The man muttered as he walked away. 

Ashling fell down the long well. She let out a long scream. She felt something change. Something in her face. Before she could feel what was happening she hit a rock. Her neck cracked and she lay limply. Seconds later she opened her eyes with a gasp. She touched her chin and felt her neck move easily. "Oh God…my neck…" she went to touch her forehead but felt sharp 'pins' on it. "What…" she felt them all over her face. She sat up and her neck fell to the side. "Please let this work." She placed her hands, which she saw were now green, on her neck and snapped her neck back in place. She stood to her feet and jumped. Some how she flew to the top of the well and climbed out. 

"Something's happening to me." She ran home.

"Ma!" Ashling ran into the house trying to cover her face. "Ma!" 

"What is it?" Angela came out of the kitchen.

"Ma what is wrong with me?" Ashling moved her hands and her mother saw what was wrong. Ashling's face was now green with blue spikes, and her crystal blue eyes were dark red. 

"Honey just calm down…"

"Ma! What is wrong with me! I was being chased…I fell down a well. Me neck was broken…what _is _wrong with me?" 

"Ash… sit down," she sat on the couch along with Angela. Her tears rolled past the spikes. "I had to tell Allen this when he was twenty…well he was twenty-one."

"Ma,"

"You're father who left me the day after you were born, is a demon, a Bracken demon…I didn't think it would show up in either of you. Especially you…but it did show up in Allen and I knew I'd have to tell you someday." 

"How…how can I get this off my face?"

"Just think of your normal face. Allen told me in his letters. The demon can come and go as you please," 

Ashling thought of her normal face and it appeared. "Why didn't Allen ever tell me?"

"I asked him not to. I didn't think it would show up in you,"

"Ma, I'm going to Los Angeles,"

"What?"

"I'm gonna find Allen,"

"Honey, we haven't heard from him in almost two years-"

"I don't care," Ashling got up heading for her room. 

"Bring him Ash," Angela called. She knew she couldn't stop her daughter. 

"I will," Ashling began to pack. 


	2. Two

**Los Angeles, California**

****Ashling walked to the dingy apartment that she found in the phone book to be her brothers. She knocked on the door. A blond woman who looked like she was in her forties, trying to be thirty answered the door. 

"Umm…hi, I'm Ashling Doyle I was looking for Allen?"

"You mean that little Irish dude?"

"Yes," Ashling answered.

"He disappeared about a year and half ago," she exhaled from the cigarette she was smoking. Ashling sighed a disappointment. 

"Do you know where I could find out where to find him?"

"I remember he use to go to this office about two blocks from here, umm here," the woman went into the apartment and came back out with a card. "This was left here with is stuff." She handed Ashling a card with an angel on in. "A few months after Allen disappeared, some tall guy with an over bearing forehead and spiky hair took all the junk away. I'm guessing that's where he is."

"Well thank you," the door closed on her face and Ashling left. The streets of LA were busier than her small Irish town. She didn't mind the two-block walk. It was nothing compared to the long walks her and Allen would take as kids._ God I miss him. _

Twenty minutes later Ashling arrived at 'Angel Investigations'. It was nothing more than a pile of rubble. "Great." She muttered. "Now what am I suppose to do?" she sat on the curb and looked down the neon lighted street. Bars and such. One caught her eye. "I could go for some scotch." She said to herself. She got up walking across the street and entered the bar. It was amazing to her. Inside was full of demons of all shorts. Ugly ones, horned ones, blue, red, green ones. But she didn't see the Bracken face she was looking for. She walked to a stool next to the bar and sat resting her head on the surface of the polished wood.

"Plan on polishing the bar for me honey?" Ashling looked up to the new voice coming from behind the bar. It was another demon like herself no a Bracken but still a demon. He had green skin and dark red eyes that resembled her demon side. His two red horns barley reached his orange-blond hair. 

"Huh? No, sorry," she wiped her hand across where her forehead was. 

"You're new aren't you?"

"Yeah,"

"Can I get you anything?"

"Scotch on the rocks,"

"You sure you're old enough?" the demon asked as he started making the drink.

"Where I'm from I am,"

"Ireland right?"

"Yup," he handed her the drink. She sipped it. "How much?"

"On the house. What brings you to LA?"

"My brother," 

"Really? Gambling debts?" he joked.

"No," she laughed back. "He's been missing for almost two years and I needed his help. I just found out I was half demon."

"Its not so bad," he said. He placed his own drink down for a moment. "I'm Lauren."

"Ashling," she sipped again. "I went by his apartment and the lady living there gave me this card." She reached in her pocket and placed the card on the bar. "But it was brunt to the ground." 

Lauren looked at the card. He knew the symbol and he knew who worked there. 

"I know this guy," he said.

"My brother?"

"No, the guy who runs the business. He's helped me before. Come on I can take you there."

"Hold on," she finished her drink in one gulp and they left.

***

"Nice place," Ashling said as they approached the door to the hotel.

"Personally I think its still a fixer-upper," Lauren said as he opened the door for her and they entered.

"Who is it?" they heard Cordelia Chase yell from behind the desk

"Just me sweetheart," they walked up to the desk. The girl came up.

"Lauren, hey, what brings you around?" Cordelia caught site of Ashling. "A new customer?"

"No…this is Ashling-"

"And I'm Cordelia, how can 'Angel Investigations' help you?"

"I'm looking for one of your employees. My brother,"

"You're brother?" Cordelia finally took notice of Ashling's thick Irish accent. "And what's your last name?"

"Doyle," Cordelia placed her hand over her mouth as her eyes welled up. "What's your brother's name?"

"Allen…Allen Doyle,"

"Oh God…umm…your brother…Lauren can you…?"

"Sure, kiddos, I'll see you later. Ash, be sure to stop by the bar again," Lauren left. 

"Ashling… sit down," Cordelia came out and they sat on the couch. "Your brother...he, he,"

"Who was at the door?" Ashling turned to see a man walking down the steps. He had brown spiky hair and was wearing all black.

"Angel! Ashling this is Angel, Angel this is Ashling," Angel reached the bottom and approached the couch. He shook Ashling's hand. 

"Hi, do you need help with something?"

"Ashling is Doyle's little sister,"

"What? Does she…"

"No she doesn't,"

"I have the strangest feeling I'm missing something," Ashling stood up. "I really need to see Allen. I haven't heard from him in a year and a half. I need to see him." 

"You can't," Angel said.

"Why not?" Ashling demanded.

Cordelia reached for Ashling's hand but she jerked away. "Doyle is dead."

"What?"

"Last year…a lot of people were in trouble, a lot of demons…and there was this thing that would kill anything with human blood and he sacrificed his life to save, millions of half-demons,"

Ashling felt like someone had punched her gut. "What do you mean…when?"

"November thirtieth," 

Tears started to fall out of Ashling's eyes. "That's why we haven't heard from him." She sank to the ground. Soon she started crying/sniffling. As she sniffled her demon side showed.

"Is that why you need to see him?" Angel asked. Ashling nodded.

"Our mother never told me…does he have a headstone?"

"We put one up," Cordelia said quietly. 

"Can you take me there?" 

"Of course," Cordelia helped Ashling up. She shook her head and went back to her normal face.

**Graveyard**

****Angel's car pulled up to the graveyard. Cordelia looked at it. She hadn't been there since they had their mini funeral for him. She never visited it; it was too painful for her. Bus she couldn't imagine the pain Ashling was going through now.

"I'll show you where it is," Cordelia got out of the car and walked to the grass. Ashling followed.

Cordelia had been in lots of graveyards before. After all she use to be a slayerette. This was different. She never had a dead friend. "There." Cordelia stopped when she saw it. 

Ashling walked up to the tombstone. She was shaking. When she reached the stone she read it aloud."Allen Francis Doyle, saved the lives of millions. Always remembered." She shank to the ground in front of the stone. Her fingers grazed the letters. "Always remebered. Allen…I need you Allen. I'm…I'm a demon. Allen..." she broke down crying. "I'll get you back Allen I promise." She rested her head on the cold stone. "I promise." She stood up. "I'm bringing him back." She said to Cordelia.

"What?"

"I'm going to bring him back," Ashling headed back to Angel's car and got in.

"What do you mean you're gonna bring him back?" Cordelia got in too.

"I'm going to bring my brother back to life. He wasn't meant to die!"

"I don't think…"

"We already went to the oracles." Angel explained. "They said they couldn't."

"_They _couldn't. I'm going to find a way. You say you help the helpless. I'm helpless. I am not going back to my mother in Ireland to tell her that her only son is dead! Now are you going to help me or not?"

Cordelia wanted to bring Doyle back. She missed him a lot. She even thought she loved him, maybe she still does. "I know someone." She said. "A witch. She's powerful. She could do it."

"Thank you Cordelia,"

Angel started the car. "Who do you know?" he asked quietly.

"Willow,"

"Willow isn't going-"

"Angel I miss Doyle, I know you do too. And think of Ashling. We have to try,"

"We will, but I think we should see Lauren first,"

"Ugh," she grunted. "Does every decision we make have to involve a trip to a karaoke bar?"


	3. Three

"Welcome back kids," Lauren said when he saw Angel, Cordelia and Ashling entered the bar

"Welcome back kids," Lauren, said when he saw Angel, Cordelia and Ashling entered the bar. "Can I get you anything?"

"We actually came here to get a reading," Angel said.

"I don't think you need one,"

"Why not?"

He motioned Angel to the side. "I can read that girl from here."

"And?"

"She's heart broken,"

"Obviously, we just had to tell her, her brother died a year ago. She hasn't stopped crying." 

"Try and help her. Bring her brother back,"

"We tried already… the oracles said they-"

"Get your witch friend to do it," Lauren took a sip from his drink.

"Its been over a year is it even possible?"

"I don't know," 

Ashling stared at the polished bar. Her tears were dried on her cheeks. 

"Do you want anything?" Cordelia asked.

"No," Ashling murmured. 

"Scotch on the rocks I believe," Lauren placed a glass in front of Ashling.

"Thanks," she forced a smile and took a sip. It didn't taste the same as it did twenty minutes ago. Nothing was the same as it was twenty minutes ago. The world was a constant blur. No music, no happy, no life, no color. Nothing. Ashling rubbed her finger on the glass. There was a slight squeaking sound as her fingers went along with the water that had collected. 

"Ashling…" Cordelia pulled her out of her gaze.

"Hmm?"

"Do you wanna stay at my place tonight?"

"Yeah, sure," Ashling left the drink and left. 

**Cordelia's Apartment**

****"I'll take the couch, you can have my bed," Cordelia said as the entered her apartment. "Before you freak out, I have a ghost here. His name is Dennis. Dennis this is Ashling."

Ashling walked in and looked at the living room. She felt a rush of images come towards her. It was like voices. They inched their way to her head. She felt them coming.

_FLASH~_

_"Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?" Cordelia said to Doyle as she gushed over the apartment he had found her._

_"No, never," Doyle replied looking at Cordelia's beauty and not paying any attention at all to the apartment.~_

__Ashling exhaled deeply as the image faded away. 

"Are you okay?" Cordelia asked, noticing something wasn't right with Ashling.

"He loved you," she said.

"What?"

"Allen. When he found you this apartment. He was looking so much for your approval. He loved you so much,"

"How did you know that?" Cordelia was shocked and almost crying at the lost memory.

"I…I had a vision or and image or something,"

"Come on Ashling, how about you go to bed now,"

**1:30 AM**

****Cordelia was at her kitchen table crying over a box of tissues. "I knew he loved me…why was I so mean to him?" a tissue floated over to her. "Thanks Dennis. You know I have no right to be crying." She said to him. "He's been gone for almost two years and I cried when he died, I cried at the funeral, I cried for six months…why am I crying now? Ashling just found out the reason her brother hasn't written to her in a year in a half is because he died. She just found out he's dead and here I am crying over it."

There was no answer from Dennis because Dennis was a silent ghost. He handed her another tissue. She broke down crying again.

Ashling looked at the ceiling. She could hear Cordelia talking to Dennis and her sobs.She tapped her fingers on the blanket. There was so much of Allen's life she didn't know about. Letters became scarce after Harry left him and he found out about his demon side. She didn't know the demon had anything to do with it though. He quit his teaching job. Ashling and their mom were totally shocked. They knew how much he loved teaching and he loved kids. Ashling remembered in one letter Allen said he and Harry were thinking about having kids. Ashling was so happy. She wanted a little niece or nephew. 

Ashling wondered how hard it was for Allen to sacrifice his life for all those demons. For people like him. Cordelia was almost crying when she told her the news. She got of the bed and walked to the closet. She peered at the clothes and one caught her eye. She reached in and pulled out an old beaten brown leather jacket. "Oh my God." She said. This was Allen's old jacket that their mother gave to him when he turned fifteen. She told them it was their father's. Ashling slipped her arms in the jacket and put it on. When she pulled the front to her chest she felt something in the inside pocket. She pulled it out. It was a letter that was crippled and looked like it had been read every day. She walked to the bed and sat down, turning the light on. She unfolded the page. 

_Princess-_

_I don't know why, but I think somethin' is gonna happen to me soon. Just this feeling I have. So I'm writing you this letter to tell you everything in case something happens. My biggest secret is that I'm half demon. I didn't know until I was twenty-one. My mum finally told me. That's when Harry left me because I changed. I became hateful towards the world and we fought all the time. Anyway. I have a little sister. Ashling, she's six years younger than me. Don't tell her about the demon in me, it's not in her she doesn't need to know. I want to leave you my ring because I love you Cordelia. Never had the courage to tell you. But I do. So keep it to remember me. Goodbye Princess._

_Love,_

_Allen_

_ _

__Ashling folded the letter back up. She wiped the tears from her face. "He knew…" she put the letter in the pocket and turned the light off. She crawled under the covers with the jacket still on. She inhaled deeply and could smell the cheep cologne on it. Still there after a year and a half. She rolled into a ball and cried herself to sleep.


	4. Four

KNOCK, KNOCK

Cordelia woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. She was still on the table buried beneath tissues. 

KNOCK, KNOCK

"I'm coming," she ran her hand threw her hair as she walked to the door. A yawn escaped her lips as she opened the door. Standing there were her friends/coworkers, Gunn and Wesley along with Angel covered with a blanket. "Come in." she said with a scratchy voice. She didn't really care if Angel burst into flames. Angel came in with a little bit of smoke coming from his back. Once in he discarded the blanket to the couch.

"Where is she?" Angel asked.

"Still sleeping. She took my room. Did you tell them?"

"Tell us what?" Wesley asked.

"Who's still asleep?" Gunn also asked.

"Doyle's sister," Cordelia said quietly as she sat back down.

"What?"

"Who's Doyle?" Gunn was clueless. 

"A friend who died a year ago,"

"What is she doing here?" Wesley asked.

"Originally she came to find Doyle but found out he was dead and she just found out she is a demon,"

"Wait, Doyle is a demon?" Gunn inquired.

"Half. Both of them are on their father's side," Angel explained. "Did you call Willow yet?" 

"No, I'll do that now," she walked to the phone.

"Why is she calling Willow?" Wesley sat in a chair. 

"To get Willow to try to bring Doyle back," 

"Willow? Hi it's Cordelia. Yeah fine but I was wondering if you could help me with something. A spell. To bring back the dead. Look Willow its not for me," that was only partly true. "Its for a friend. Her brother died and…I'll tell you when you get here, thanks." She hung up the phone. "I'll go check on Ashling." 

Cordelia walked back the hallway and peeked into the bedroom. Ashling was rolled to the side. Cordelia could see that the leather jacket that had been buried in her closet was now being worn. She stepped in the room and walked to the side of the bed. 

"Ashling…" Cordelia gently shook her shoulder. "Ashling."

"Hmmm?" she rolled to Cordelia, opening her eyes. She just noticed how Ashling's eyes resembled Doyle's. 

"Uhh... you can wake up now. Two of mine and Angel's friends are here and my witch friend will be here soon."

"Okay. Oh…the jacket," Ashling just realized she was still wearing it. "Here."

"No, you can keep it," 

"Thank you," Ashling got out of the bed and followed Cordelia out.

"Guys, this is Ashling and-"

"I'm Gunn," he introduced.

"And I'm Wesley Wyndham-Pryce," Wesley offered his hand out. Ashling took it.

"Nice to meet you," she went to the fridge. "Do you have any scotch or vodka?"

"Aren't you a bit young to be drinking?" Gunn asked.

"I'm twenty, its legal in Ireland," 

"Well I don't have any alcohol," Cordelia said. "I use to when Doyle was around but…"

"So both of them are recovering alcoholics?" Gunn asked.

"No stupid," Cordelia retorted to him.

"You Americans drink soda, Europeans drink alcohol," Ashling explained. She took an apple out of the fridge. "Okay if I eat this?"

"Sure," Cordelia walked out to the living room. Angel followed.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Do you know how much she's like Doyle? How much she looks like him? I don't know if I can take it." 

"You can, look she's just his sister. She isn't that much like him,"

"Stop trying to make me feel better,"

"You can do it Cordy. You have to. You can't fall apart in front of her. She needs us. Okay?"

"Okay," they walked back to the kitchen. 

"Angel? Can I see Allen's things?"

"What?"

"The lady that lives in his apartment said you have his stuff. Can I see it?" 

"Actually I have it," Cordelia piped up. 

"Can I see it?"

"Of course, follow me," Cordelia guided Ashling to a small storage closet. She pulled the chain to turn the light on. "These are all of his boxes, all that was in the apartment." 

"Thank you,"

"We'll be in the living room,"

"Okay," 

Cordelia left. Ashling looked at the closet. There was just enough room for her to sit in the middle of the heap of six boxes. She leaned against one and pulled the nearest one closer to her. She ripped the tape off and opened the box. The first thing in the box was Allen's black leather jacket. She lifted it to see this was a box of clothes. She pushed it aside and saw a pile of three shoeboxes. She pulled one of them to her lap. She took the lid off and saw papers in it. She picked one up. This box had all the letters she and Angela had written to him. She read the letter to herself.

_Allen,_

_I know its hard honey, but you'll be fine. You can control it. It won't hurt you. I'm sorry about Harriet. Don't mention your demon side to Ashling; she doesn't have the gene in her. At least she shouldn't. I love you son, it will be fine. Write back._

_Lots of love,_

_Ma_

__Ashling folded the paper and placed it back in. she covered the box and pulled the other one close to her. Inside was a necklace with a Saint Christopher pendant on it. There was some money, a watch, batteries, a pen, matches, a pack of cigarettes and a picture of Allen and Harry. She put that box away and pulled the last shoebox. This one was full of pictures. The top one was of Cordelia. Ashling looked threw them. There were some of him and Harry and some of Harry. One was of him and his third grade class. There was one of their wedding. Ashling smiled. The bottom pictures were of the family. The last one was when Allen was six and holding Ashling, a newborn. She closed this box and pulled out a medium sized box. The first thing she saw was his teaching degree. "Allen Francis Doyle." She read aloud.She put the degree back in the box. 

"And that's why you get visions?" Gunn questioned Cordelia after she explained the whole 'Doyle' story. Cordelia nodded. "And Ashling is here to-"

"She just found out she was a demon. And she came here for answers that only Doyle can give her,"

KNOCK, KNOCK 

"I'll get it," Cordelia got up to the door. "Willow hey!" Willow Rosenberg was standing at the door. "And hi, person I don't know." 

"Cordelia, this is Tara Maclay my…uh…my girlfriend. Tara this is Cordelia,"

"Nice to meet you," Cordelia said.

"You too," Tara replied. 

"Come on it," they followed. "Tara this is Angel, Gunn and Wesley. Willow this is Gunn. Ashling!" 

"Yeah?" Ashling came into the living room. 

"This is Willow and Tara, this is Ashling,"

"Hi,"

"So,"

"Can you bring back the dead?" Ashling asked.

"I don't know…we've never done it before," Tara said.

"You really can't do it…the person can come back bad,"

"I don't care," Ashling felt a sneeze coming on. "I-" SNEEZE. With the sneeze Ashling's demon face sprouted. Willow and Tara's eyes both grew wide. "Look I just found out about this a week ago. I came here to find Allen so he could help me. He's dead…I can't go home to my mother and tell her the reason why he hasn't written is because he's dead. He's half demon like me." 

"Actually, there maybe something we can do," Tara spoke up.

"What?" Ashling shook off her demon face.

"Demons aren't technically human and since he's half…there's still a chance," 

Ashling smiled. "Thank you…thank you so much!" 

"We have to look at some books, can we get back to you tomorrow?"

"Yes," 

"Okay, we'll see you," Tara and Willow left. Cordelia felt a wave of happiness. _Thank you. _She thought.


	5. Five

Sunnydale

Sunnydale 

Tara and Willow sat in a pile of books in their dorm room. 

"What type of demon did she look like?" Tara asked flipping threw a demon book.

"I'd say a Bracken demon," Willow replied. She was looking through a book of very powerful spells. 

"Here it is!" Tara pointed to the picture of the pointy-faced demon. 

"Let me see," Willow crawled to the bed and took the book.

"It says that the Bracken demons are very strong in demon form. And it is possible to bring the back from the dead,"

"Well how did Doyle die?"

"Um…Cordelia said something about a light…the Scourge had something,"

"Hmmm," Willow flipped a few pages and came across the page that said 'Scourge'. "The Scourge is a group of pure blood demons who go around the Earth searching for half breed demons to kill them."

"Does it say anything about the light?" 

"Yeah. It says for large groups they used it. And apparently Doyle destroyed it,"

"I don't know if we can do this. I mean the oracles couldn't even bring him back," 

"But we have to do this for Ashling, did you see how broken she was?" Willow sat next to Tara. 

"I know,"

"How did it say to bring a Bracken back?"

"Well the ingredients are being at the grave, blood, and a possession of the dead. Then there's a spell,"

"Can we do it?"

"I think so,"

"Okay I'll call Cordelia,"

**Los Angeles**

****Ashling entered the Lauren's bar with Cordelia and Angel following her. She walked to the bar and sat down at the stool.

"Well if it isn't my favorite vampire," Lauren said. "And half demon. Can I get you anything?"

"Actually I was wondering if I could have a reading," Ashling asked.

"Sure sweetheart, but why?"

"'Delia's friend said she's gonna find a spell to bring Allen back. And I just want a reading to see…" 

"Knock yourself out doll face," 

Ashling walked up to the stage and punched the code into what song she wanted to sing. "How do I get through one night without you, if I had to live without you what kid of life would that be?" as Ashling sang images…visions came to her, like when she walked into Cordelia's apartment. 

_FLASH~_

_"Allen stop it!" Ashling was six years old and Allen, age eleven at the time, was throughing marshmallows at her. "Stop it! Ma! Allen's throughing stuff at me!~_

__Ashling brushed it off. "Oh I need you in my arms, need you to hold. You're my world my heart my soul. If you ever leave, baby you'd take everything good in my life.  
  


FLASH~ 

_"Do you have to go?" eleven-year-old Ashling asked her seventeen-year-old brother Allen._

_"I gotta Ash," he said. The sound of his voice, even though the Irish accent matched hers, made her feel a little better. "I'm going to college. And I'll meet my future wife and when I have kids-"_

_"I'll be Cool Auntie Ashling. I know I've heard it a million times. Ever since you got accepted. I get it,"_

_"That's my girl," he kissed her forehead. "I gotta go now. I promise I'll write once a week and call."_

  
"And tell me now, how do I live without you, I want to know. How do I breathe 

you, if you ever go. How do I ever, ever survive? How do, how do I oh how do I live? Without there'd be no sun in my sky. There would be no love in my life, there would be no world left for me, and I.Baby I don't know what I would do. I would be lost if I lost you. If you ever leave baby you would take away everything real in my life,"

FLASH~ 

_"No! Allen!" Ashling screamed in her sleep._

_"Ashling…honey wake up," Angela shook her daughter._

_"Allen?"_

_"No…you were having a bad dream,"_

_"He was gone…he died,"_

_"Its okay Ash. It was only a dream,"_

_ _

"And tell me now. How do I live without you I want to know. How do I breathe without you, if you ever go? How do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I oh how do I live? Please tell me baby...How do I go on? If you ever leave well baby you would take away everything need you with me,"

_FLASH~_

_"Allen," Ashling sobbed into the phone. She was now nineteen and had called him after her nightmare._

_"Ash?" Allen sat up in his bed when he heard his sister crying. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" _

_"Fine…are you okay?"_

_"Yeah…Ash…any reason you're calling?"_

_"I had a dream,"_

_"Okay," he half laughed. "And would this involve making your brother late for work?"_

_"You died,"_

_"What?"_

_"In my dream…you were gone," _

_"It was a dream Ashy. Its not gonna come true," he was trying to comfort her thinking maybe she had visions like he did. "How…how did I die?"_

_"I don't know. I just saw you laying there and a pretty girl crying over you,"_

_"Its fine. Nothing's gonna happen?"_

_"Promise?"_

_"I promise,"_

_"Okay," she sniffled. "Sorry I'm making you late."_

_"Its okay…I love you Ashling,"_

_"I love you too Allen,"_

_"Tell Ma I said hi,"_

_"Okay. Bye,"_

_ _

__

" Baby don't you know your everything good in my life, and tell me now. How do I live without you, I want to know, how do I breathe without you, I f you ever go. How do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh how do I live. How do I live without you  
how do I live without you baby…" Ashling dropped the mike after her last memory. She jogged off the stage to the bar. 

"What's the hurry doll face?" Lauren asked when she reached the bar.

"Scotch,"

"Okay," he got it ready and handed it too her. She swallowed it in one gulp. "Want your reading now?"

"Sure,"

"You're confused for one, heartbroken, -"

"I know how I feel Lauren, what do you see?"

"I… I don't know,"

"What?" her, Angel, and Cordelia asked at the same time.

"I don't know. You're mind was…you were having visions, I couldn't see threw them," 

"There they are," Wesley and Gunn were at the door and ran to Angel.

"What are you two doing here?" Angel asked.

"Willow and Tara are waiting,"


	6. Six

"How does this work?" Ashling asked Willow and Tara when they went back to Cordeila's house. 

"Well we need a few ingredients," Tara answered.

"What are they?"

"Umm…we have to be at his grave at midnight and have something that use to belong to him and blood of a relative,"

"That's it?"

"Yup and then there's a nifty little spell that goes with it," Willow explained further,"

"Are you sure it will work?" Cordelia asked.

"Pretty sure," Tara replied. 

"What are we gonna use for pession?" 

"This," Cordelia pulled a chain from her neck out which was hidden beneath her shirt. She took a silver ring off it. "He left this for me." She felt tears welling in her eyes. She ran to her bedroom.

"I'll check on her," Angel traveled the hallway and crept into the room. Cordelia was sitting on her bed and a box of tissues floated near her. "Are you okay Cordy?"

"I don't know, its just that…. he's gonna be back. After a year and a half. He'll be back,"

**12:00AM Graveyard**

****Ashling trembled as she walked to Doyle's headstone. She was still wearing his jacket and pulled tight to her body as the wind blew. 

"Cordelia, Angel, you need to stand back," Willow told them.

"Okay, come on Cordy," Angel led her a few feet away to the sidewalk. Cordelia didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay. If this worked she wanted to be there. She wanted to be the first thing Doyle saw. She wanted to kiss Doyle as soon as he was back.

"Ashling, put the ring on the grass," Tara instructed. Ashling nodded and placed the silver Claddagh ring on the ground. Tara started placing a few moonstones around the ring.

"This is gonna sting, but give me your hand," Willow said. Ashling extended her hand and Willow pulled a knife out. She made a small slit in the palm of Ashling's hand. Ashling winced in pain. "Squeeze your hand so the blood will hit the ground." Ashling did just that. Small blood droplets surrounded and landed on the ring. "Just sit back and hope this works." Ashling stood a few feet back along side with Angel and Cordelia. Willow closed her eyes, as did Tara and the locked hands. When Willow opened her eyes they were dark brown and the colored part of the eyes almost completely covered the white. Tara's were normal. "Spirits of all come to us now. Bring back the one lost, Allen Francis Doyle. Blood and value wait here."

Tara said next, "Once was done now undo. So him the way home." 

Then together. "Back to us now, back to us now. Three times. Back to us now."

A light shot down causing all to close their eyes momentarily. Ashling forced her eyes open and walked closer. A figure was forming in the light.

"Allen," she said quietly. She reached to touch the light. A hand formed. She touched the light and the hand from the other side matched hers. 

_FLASH~_

_"You don't smell human," Angel said to Doyle as he lingered in the doorway._

_"Well, that's a bit rude. As I happens I'm very much human," SNEEZE. A green face and blue 'pins' sprouted all over his face. "On my mother's side." He shook the demon off and into his true form. _

_ _

_FLASH~_

_"You made a good choice. She'll provide a connection to the world. She has a very humanizing influence," Doyle watched Cordelia walk out of the room to move more boxes._

_"You think she's a hottie," Angel smirked._

_"Oh, she's a stiffener alright, can't lie about that. But she could use a hand,"_

_ _

_FLASH~_

_"There's a lot of people in this city need helpin'," Doyle told to Angel as they stood over the city. "You game?"_

_Angel let the wind ruffle his long trench coat and a smile moved across his face. "I'm game."_

__

_FLASH~_

_"Doyle if you want to ask Cordelia out, just do it your self," Angel said to Doyle._

_"I don't even know if she likes me man, unless you put in a good word for me. You know just tell her what a great guy I am,"_

_"I barely know you," Angel shrugged._

_"Perfect! That should make it easier for you,"_

_ _

_FLASH~_

_"That's it!" Cordelia was about ready to punch the lights out in the man who just called her a hooker._

_"Down Cordy…"_

_"Did you hear what he just said about me?!"_

_"We all need to just simmer down here okay? Violence doesn't solve anything," Doyle started to turn away but the went right back and hit the guy in face with his own head. He fell backwards. "On the other hand it is kinda festive."_

_ _

_FLASH~_

_"I'm gonna celebrate with a drink down at the pub," Doyle said as he walked out of Angel's basement._

_"He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox down at the pub," Cordelia said to Oz as she followed Doyle out._

_ _

_FLASH~_

_"First thing I do is hire someone to get ride of that wall," Cordelia pointed to the plaster wall that was hideous to her, and then walked towards the kitchen._

_"I though you said it was perfect," Doyle looked at the same wall not seeing anything wrong with it and followed Cordelia._

_"Yes! And part of being perfect is having one tiny flaw for me to fix,"_

_"Must be why you find me so fascinating," Doyle smiled at her. She gave him a 'yeah right' look and continued on. _

_ _

_FLASH~_

_"That was…you were so…brave," Cordelia looked up at Doyle after he saved her from a vampire._

_"Think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You're standin' on my moment of manliness here,"_

_"I'm sorry. I'm just-"_

_"Surprised?"_

_"Grateful,"_

_ _

_FLASH~_

_"Hey Francis," Cordelia and Doyle turned to see a blond woman standing in the doorway._

_"Harry?"_

_"Francis? Who Francis?" Cordelia wrinkled her nose._

_"That would be me," Doyle said still looking at Harry. "Allen Francis Doyle."_

_ _

_FLASH~_

_Cordelia walked in Angel's office seeing Doyle laying on the couch holding a pillow to his chest like a fifteen year old who just found out his teacher didn't like him back. "Hi Doyle." She smiled. "Are you gonna become loser pining guy, like full time now? Because you know we already have one of those around the office."_

_"Hey!" Angel retorted._

_"Hey!" Doyle said the same._

_"He can get away with it. He's tall and look at the way clothes hang on him. But he…"_

_"I think you've cheered us both up," Angel interrupted._

_"You can't live in the past. You gotta move on. Let it go. Forget it. Tomorrow is another day," Doyle sat up still holding the pillow. "Did I mention letting it go?"_

_"Twice," he dropped the pillow._

_Cordelia sat down next to him. "You'll get through this Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last."_

_"You think I'm a nice guy?"_

_"I think it, I say it. Its my way,"_

_"Thanks,"_

_"Feeling better?"_

_"Yeah," he nodded._

_ _

_FLASH~_

_"You're alive!" Cordelia said._

_"And you're not happy?"_

_"We were worried,"_

_"Well there's nothing to-" Cordelia raised her hand and slapped him across the face. He looked back at her. "What was that fer?"_

_"Why didn't you tell me you were half demon? I thought we agreed that secrets were bad!"_

_"I wanted to tell you. I was afraid. I thought that you'd reject me,"_

_"I've rejected you way before now! So your half demon, big whoop! I can't believe you'd think I'd care about that. I mean I work for a vampire. Hello?"_

_"True but-"_

_She wasn't through with him yet. "What do you think I am? Superficial? I mean you're half demon. That is so far down the list. Way under short and, and poor. Is there anything else I should know?"_

_"That half demon thing, pretty much my big secret," _

_"Good. That's out. It's done. Would you ask me out for dinner already?" she spat out._

_Doyle looked at her strangely. "Yeah?" Cordelia smiled. "Cordelia would you like to-"_

_"Its Angel,"_

_ _

_FLASH~_

_"The good fight yeah?" Doyle said to Angel. "You never know 'till you've been tested. I get that now." There was a moment of silence. Doyle punched Angel square in the jaw and he went flying over the chain rail and down to the ground. Cordelia was shocked. Doyle looked at her and walked right up and kissed her. He ran his head threw her hair. He felt something leaving him. Something that passed to Cordelia. He pulled away from her. "Too bad we'll never know." He changed to his demon face. "If this is a face you could learn to love." He turned away from her and looked at the light._

_Angel pushed himself up. "Doyle!" he yelled. "Doyle!" he started to climb the ladder. "Doyle! Doyle no!" with the word 'no' Doyle jumped to the light. "No!" Angel was now standing next to Cordelia. "No!" Doyle looked back at Cordelia flashing his killer Irish smile. He turned back to the light. His hands gripped the cords. He felt himself melting away. His demon form faded away. Just as the cords disconnected he screamed and faded away.~_

_ _

__"No!" Ashling yelled. She felt his pain. She looked up and saw a pair of sparkling blue eyes like her own. The light faded away. She moved her hand back. "Allen?"

"A-Ashling?" 

"You're, oh my God," she wrapped her arms around his stomach hugging him. She started crying.

"Its okay Ash," Doyle was very confused right now, but all he knew was he had to comfort his sister. "What's wrong?" she still didn't look up. "You're kinda soaking my shirt here." He joked. He felt Ashling laugh. She looked up at him. 

"I'm fine," she wiped her tears. 

"Okay," suddenly the fact that he had been dead came reeling back to him. "How long have I been gone?"

"One year and six months," Doyle heard the voice of the woman he still loved. "That's how long." 

"Cordelia," he stated. They walked towards each other and stopped. "How…are you?"

"You're back," tears came falling down her face.

"Why are you crying Princess?" he wiped her tears. "I'm back now. But I'm still really confused."

"Lets just go back to the office and we'll explain everything," 

"Okay," 

Willow and Tara stared cleaning up and followed the group out. Ashling was standing side to her brother as they walked out of the graveyard. 

NOTE- this isn't the end so there IS more!


	7. Seven

"As you know the scourge killed you, well you sacrificed you're life," Angel explained to Doyle when they were at the hotel. "And our witch friends brought you back."

"It took you a year and a half to do it?" Doyle joked. "Didn't you miss me?"

"Of course!" Cordelia said. "Its just the oracles told Angel that _they _couldn't bring you back, but Ashling came to us and that's really when we took action."

"Why did you come for me?" Doyle asked Ashling. She was about to speak.

"Come on Cordy," Angel started to take her away.

"No, I wanna-"

"We'll be up stairs," Angel said as he led Cordelia up the steps. "Let Ashling explain to Doyle why she's looking for him."

"You were saying Ash?"

"I came looking for you because, well for one you hadn't contacted me or Ma in a year in a half. Since the day I called you about my nightmare. And second," she didn't know how to explain this. She concentrated and sprouted her demon face. "This."

"Ashling…"

She shook it off. "Ma never told me, she didn't think it would show up in me because I was a girl and you never told me-"

"Ma told me not to. It killed me I couldn't tell you about it,"

"She told me that Da was a demon and left her the day I was born,"

"I know I remember that day,"

"Allen, I was so scared when it happened," she stood up. "I mean I think a vampire was chasing me and I fell down the McCourt's old well. I felt my neck break but I turned into the demon as I fell and I didn't know what to think…"

"Ash, everything is gonna be okay," Doyle stood next to her. "This won't affect who you are. I wish I had known that four years ago when it happened to me. Maybe I could still be with Harry."

"I know you don't wanna be with Harry. I know who you love,"

"What Cordelia? I don't…love her per say…"

"Don't lie to me Allen," she said. "She loves you too."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Go talk to her,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll be fine. We can talk more in the morning,"

"Okay," he gave his sister a quick hug then started up the steps. He wondered down a hallway and listened for Angel and Cordelia talking. He found it in room 782. 

KNOCK, KNOCK 

Doyle peered in the cracked door.

"Come in," Angel said. Doyle opened the door. 

"Can I talk to Cordelia for a minute?"

"Yeah sure, I'll uh…I'll set up a room for Ashling…down the hall or something," Angel left the room.

"Cordelia-"

"I missed you," she spat out. "I missed you so much and now you're here and it's almost like a dream."

"Come here Princess," Doyle let his hand out and helped Cordelia off the bed and pulled her close. He ran his hand threw her short brown hair. Cordelia buried her face in his chest. 

"It wasn't fair,"

"What wasn't?"

"I finally found out how I cared about you, after you kissed me and then you had to be all brave and noble and everything…and when I started getting the visions-"

"Visions?"

"When you kissed me, I got your visions. And after I got my first vision and after I was kidnapped and everything I realized I loved you. I love you Doyle," she pulled back and looked up at him.

"I love you too Princess," he replied without skipping a beat. He leaned close to her and kissed her. This time she kissed back. Her hands traveled to his shoulders and his to her hair. 

Cordelia pulled away. "Why did you leave me?"

"Never again Princess," 

Cordelia took his hand and started to the bed. "Cordy-" she put a finger to his lips to silence him. 

"I want to," she grabbed his collar and pulled him close to her kissing him and they both fell to the bed.

"You can stay in this room," Angel led Ashling to a room on the other side of the hotel. "The bathroom is downstairs and if you want to get TV that's…well that's downstairs too."

"Thank you Angel…for everything,"

Angel smiled. "You're welcome."

**Next Day**

****Sunlight crept threw the cheep drapes and onto the sleeping couple in the bed or room 782. Doyle blinked his eyes, until they were open. His eyes scanned the room until they rested on the sleeping beauty in his arms. He shifted his weight a little bit. He brushed back the hair that was covering Cordelia's eyes. She started to stir. 

"Doyle?"

"Morning Princess," 

Cordelia smiled when she saw his face. "Morning." 

"How you feeling?"

"Wonderful," she kissed him softly. "Doyle I was thinking…since someone is now living in your apartment, and I already have all of your stuff…if you'd like to maybe move in with me." She bit her lip.

"I'd love to," he kissed her back.

Angel was sitting on the couch reading a newspaper. 

"What time is it?" Ashling asked. 

"Uh…eleven o'clock,"

"How long have they been up there?"

"All night,"

"Remind me to thank you for putting me in the other hall," when she said that Cordelia came down the steps without Doyle. "Where's Allen?"

"Taking a shower. Do we have any type of food?" Cordelia walked behind the desk. 

"Just coffee," Angel replied. 

"I need to send Tara and Willow a huge thank you. And Ashling…did you and Doyle work everything out?"

"Yes we did. And thanks Cordelia for being there,"

"No problem,"

not done yet…there is more to come! Lol. Please review


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